Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Summer Songs: "Heart Don't Fail Me Now/Courage Don't Desert Me"

I got my nursing school schedule yesterday. Life always becomes real when that happens. I go from a nice, calm, prepared demeanour to a stressed-out, nervous, insecure mess in 0.2 seconds. I immediately have a hundred readings to do. I have to try to fit in work, small group, church, worship team, conferences, retreat, and many others things around this schedule {while allowing for the down time I always need and crave}. My mind goes to the place where everything possible that can go wrong does go wrong. And by the end of the day, I wonder why I didn't chose the beach in Australia option . . . .

But then I stop. I reflect. And I look forward. For 2nd year clinical, I was so nervous, but I was also excited. Real nursing, I told myself. Real situations. Real people. And though it was one of the most intense seven weeks of my life, it was the most educational and rewarding. I truly grew leaps and bounds. So much so that by the time 3rd year clinical, I was more excited than nervous. But still I questioned that approach. Was I being too overconfident? Was 2nd year just a fluke, and really I am a terrible nurse? What if I can't do it the second time around? But I made it through, and it was even more educational and rewarding than 2nd year. I left the hospital on the last day of 3rd year with tears in my eyes, because I was leaving something I found a love for. And then just four short months later, I am one week away from my 4th year clinical. And these same questions continue to plague me. Well this year, I am not going to let the nerves get the better of me. Don't get me wrong, I am going to study like a madwoman and work my butt off. But I am going to trust my love of nursing and desire to better myself in this area more than my fickle nerves. This year is going to be the best yet!

The summer song of the day is from the movie Anastasia "Journey To The Past". Sometimes we have to look to our past to be better in our future. And that's the feel of the day. Only one more day of summer songs, and then it's back to school we go!

Happy Wednesday!